Touch

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Such a simple word to describe such a powerful force in our lives. Such a simple word to describe an action that can heal & soothe. Such a simple word to describe a word that can bring great passion between two people. Such a simple word to describe an action that can speak a thousands feelings. Such a simple word to describe also describe ways to bring pain.

Such a simple word with so many different ways that it can be used between people. Touch between mother & child that conveys unconditional love, protection, support, & reassurance. Touch between friends that conveys joy in seeing each other through a hug, leaning into each other as you share secrets or laughs, holding a hand to show you care. Touch between lovers that conveys desire, love, compassion, hope, commitment, pleasure, and support. Touch of a doctor to help you heal your body. Touch from a new acquaintance to say nice to meet you. Touch in so many ways between so many people.

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It has become a word that is reminding me just how powerful it can be. A word that has been missing for my life for a few years now, when I needed it the most. A word that could have helped ease my fears, shown me I was loved, conveyed compassion for my pain, & brought pleasure. Yet, all of that was held back from me, even when asked. A word I had learned to live without and not expect to have access to from a partner who said they loved me. A form of the word I had forgotten just how much I needed in my life.

This simple word that has suddenly brought healing, pleasure, and confusion all in a very short time.  An innocent appointment to relieve some stress and ease a sore body, has turned into yet another catalyst on my journey. I have had countless massages in the past and thought I knew how this one would go too. A stranger would ask if there were any areas of concern (but they never really did anything about it previously) and then commence to walk around my body massaging my sore & tired body. I would walk out feeling relaxed and return to my life. Yet not this time, instead the universe brought into my life a blessing and a lesson in the form of a massage therapist.

How you ask? How can a massage propel you forward on your journey to self? I knew the second I meet him that I was there for a reason. I knew the minute he first laid hands on me that this was going to be different than any other massage. I knew after an hour that he his touch had healed parts of my body. I knew after two hours that the energy he shares would help quiet my mind. It is because this person is a healer. He heals through his magic power of touch. He heals through his positive energy that he shares with those that are open to receive. He is a blessing
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I was receiving the healing power of touch for the fist time in a long time. With each visit my body craved more, because it wasn’t just the physical touch, it was the caring that was also being shared. The safe feeling of being vulnerable laying on the table. It was the easy conversation that was shared. It was the feeling of being taken care of for once, instead of me taking care of others. Then it happened. The demons that live with in me started whispering that I didn’t deserve this and began to scramble my thinking about why I wanted to go back. While the spirit within was saying YES, this is exactly what we need at this point in the journey. The battle raged on for a couple days. Then it happened. My spirit won. I healed more and progressed on my path by acknowledging these confusing feelings to myself, to the massage therapist, to my counselor, and to some trusted friends and family. The past me would have just never gone back and shoved the feelings away for the demons to claim as a victory. What I learned instead when I listened to my spirit and those I trusted, is that the emotions I am feeling are NORMAL. That it is understandable that after being deprived of touch, especially touch that has an energy of love and compassion attached, that my body, mind, and soul would be flustered and confused. That after not having touch for so long that my body would crave more of it, because it makes me feel physically good and it quiets my mind. I now know that accepting this blessing is part of my journey. That touch is an important part of our lives and that I am a person that needs it to be part of my life. This has been my lesson.

Touch can convey so much from one person to another. It is meant to be part of our human experience. It can feed the soul. It can quiet a mind. It can relax a body. It an convey love. It can give comfort. It can provide security. It can be just the softest of a touch on the arm to say I am here with you. It can be the tough of a mother’s lips on the forehead that says I love you. It can be a lover exploring your whole body. It can be fingers running through your hair. It can be a healer working out the stress in your body. It is something that does and says so much.

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